if you're in love, then you are the lucky one
by thequibblers
Summary: Tony is six when his father first talks about Captain America.


Uh, I have no idea why I'm posting this. But you know- Stony feels. Yup. Hope you like it!

I own nothing. All rights go to Marvel.

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Tony is six when his father first talks about Captain America.

No, wait, his father talks about a guy named Steve. And whenever that happens, he has a glass of vodka or scotch in his hand and he is walking back and forth and Maria is sitting on the couch, listening to him and sometimes Tony would come in because he can't sleep and Maria would take his hand and go back to his room with him but Tony always looks back to his dad, never missing how his father is glaring at him.

Only years later, Tony realizes it was because he was wearing Captain America pajamas.

Tony loves Captain America, his mother buys him comics and Tony has trade cards and sometimes when Howard is in a good mood, he'll sit Tony down and tell him stories about a guy named Steve and Tony listens to him and doesn't notice the sadness behind his fathers eyes and Tony says he wants to meet Steve and Howard just frowns and sends him back to his room.

Tony is nine when his father first hits him.

Tony comes into the living room to find his parents sitting on the couch, Maria is stroking Howards back and Tony knows he shouldn't interrupt them but he had a bad dream and _just wants his parents. _But he watches them and catches a few words, _Steve, why couldn't I find him, ice, plane, I miss him._

And Tony slowly sinks to the floor and keeps listening, and it hits him, right there on a Monday night that his father would always like Steve more than Tony and Tonys world crumples down, his father would never look at him with proud and Tony knows he'll never be good enough and _hell he is nine years old he shouldn't think stuff like that-_

"What do you want, Anthony?"

Tonys eyes widen and he quickly gets to his feet and rounds the corner, to find his mother sitting on the couch, fear in her eyes and his father standing a few metres before him, a glass in his hand and Tony tries to think up an excuse and his mind rattles, but instead he blurts out,

"Where is Steve?"

And Howard looks at him with shock in his eyes and then shock turns to pain and then disgust. "Never talk of Steve ever again", his father answers in a low voice and Tonys mouth opens again, _seriously Tony just shut up._

"But I want to know wh-"

And it all happens so fast, his father raising his hand and his mother lets out a scream and Tony reacts too late-

Tony can't go to sleep that night, the bad dream long forgotten, he is pressing his hand against his red cheek and he hears his parents arguing and he cries and Tony hates Steve, hates him with a passion because Steve ruined everything, he is the reason Tonys father hit him and Tony swears to himself to never talk about Steve again.

So, it's not really a surprise Howards sends Tony to boarding school.

Tony is twelve and fucked up, the people at the galas of his father shamelessly flirt with him, and Tony drinks alcohol for the first time and this is wrong, so wrong, Tony should be with his friends, playing video games and whatever kids at his age are doing, but _right. _He doesn't have friends, this is Tony Stark, nobody wants to be friends with him because well, _Tony Stark._

And he goes to boarding school and learns to live on his own and his mother calls him and she visits a few times and they never talk about his father.

Tony is fifteen when his parents die and Obie sends him a pack of letters from his father and Tony reads them, and these all are letters his father has written to him but never sent, and Tony reads and finds out that Steve is Steve Rogers and Steve Rogers is Captain America and Tony drinks and drinks and tries to hate Steve but _how can he hate his childhood hero _and Tony goes to college because _he is a genius god fucking dammit _and he never talks of Steve ever again but sometimes at night when he's tired and drunk and bored, he'll read these letters all over again and he hates Steve or Captain America because _that guy destroyed his family _but, let's be real here, Captain America was his hero and he can't hate him, not really.

Tony is on the helicarrier and _Steve, Steve, Captain America is here _but he keeps his mouth shut and he tries to hate that guy and _why the fuck can't he hate him_ and then they meet and Steve looks at him and, "Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?" and Tonys world falls apart, he is breaking inside but he doesn't show it and he remembers his fathers words when he was little, _be nice Anthony _and Tony mentally slaps himself for thinking of his father at this moment but he looks back up at Steve and simply says,

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist."

It's been six months since the Loki battle and The Avengers moved into the tower and Clint and Natasha are occasionally on missions and Thor is swinging back and forth between New York, Asgard and New Mexico and Tony and Pepper broke up and _wow Tony really had a proper relationship_ and Tony looks at Steve and can't help but like him.

He wanted to hate that guy, he hated that guy at the age of nine when his father first hit him but he just can't.

Steve with his blonde hair and blue eyes and his puppy look and his muscles and his sweatpants and his sketchbook and _what the fuck Tony _he can't like that guy. Nope.

But Tony gives in and starts to live with it.

"Tony. Come to bed."

Tony looks up to see Steve standing in the middle of the workshop and _huh when did he get here._

"Hi, Steve. What's up?"

"Tony, it's three a.m."

"So I've noticed. Anything you want?"

Steve takes his hand and leads him to the door and, really, Tony's too tired to protest and leans against Steves back and Steve chuckles and turns around, catching Tony before he falls.

"We are going to bed now."

And Tony only nods and Steve presses a light kiss to his head and leads him up the stairs, and nope. Tony can't hate him.


End file.
